For the millionith time..

I find myself bingeing. I did it on my job. I feel horrible all morning. I am, again, chewing a chewing gum to relax the tension. The pill doesn't work. With this breakfast I will definetly gain a few kilos extra. Stupid me. Stupid is that I am buying food that trigers bingeing. Now I feel horrible.. I wanted to go home, so I can do some more b/p, but I won't. I am here. I write. I am. I..
Would mostly like to forgive myself and move on. How hard must it be??? Tell me..anyone?